Saturday, October 11, 2008

Experiences Transfered Into Hope

Today was an unusual experience, as it always is within the cage of my strict family rules. People were blamed and bashed for actions which were not there's and were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sexism is a cruel tool parents use against their daughters, I must say. Women should have as much as a right to have freedom as men do. We are seen as an "inferior" sex who supposedly do not "understand" anything in my culture. We are underestimated. We know in our hearts that we are more than that. This is a false accusation and should be dealt with a more detailed outlook. Biased are the rules and regulations of this culture and need to be changed.

A new generation has emerged in the midst of this new world. Our opportunities and experiences are divergent and girls my age should be taken more seriously. The idea that satisfies me is, at some areas in my life, I am allowed to be whoever I want to be and is seen as a deep individual. Challenges are presented and no special treatement is utilized. Independence is encouraged and success through independence is seen through the students at this school. My tangible wishes of freedom in a household of so much restriction are desired. Running away has been considered an option, but life is too long for one to survive on one's own. Loved ones are nesessary in the development of a human being. But some liberation is needed to be yourself. One waits for the chance to be able to be set free like an untouchable bird. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for that breath of fresh air.

The day will come when one will be set free and the world will be in their hands. I can't resist the day. Just wait and see. The universe conspires your dreams to happen and become a reality. This belief has made me wait and apperciate the day even more when it comes. Anticipation is the key and gives me hope to proceed on. Days come when suffocation takes ahold, but I am not one to complain for when our economic system is in a financial crisis, when children are starving around the globe, when citizens are persecuted for their beliefs and have no voice, when persons are facing bigger dilemmas then just petty family problems, and the list goes on and on.

Still, I appreicate all that family does for the growth of the individual. They contribute to a significant part of the mind and soul. It's nice not to be so alone. I hold onto the secrets though, the secrets of people and my life. That is all I have and will keep for myself because it ignites the being of my spirit. I need time for myself and just scream for relief, for relaxtion. Ideas, worries, insecurity, dissappointment run through my mind every single day. Sometimes, one doesn't know where to turn too. I am not trying to be "emo" or whatever kids call it these days, but I am just stating the facts of what realistic life is like. I can be refered to as an anti-transcendentalist but also the opposite. This is what confuses me of my reasoning. Pessimistic or optimistic? Cynical or dreamy? The path will only be clear of fog in the future.

To terminate this thought, I am left with uncertainity and a nonharmonious being. The answers will be revealed to me thorugh the transformation of one event to the next. Just remember to keep hope for the day of freedom to come.

"I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."
-Elie Wiesel

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